i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
