in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
