wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
