Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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