It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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