Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
