Apparently you make a good broom.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
