she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
