OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
