So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
