He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
