It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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