I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't deserve a penis
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
