but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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