: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
