Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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