So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
