Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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