we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
