I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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