farters have to be the big spoon...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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