I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
