I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
