So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
