You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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