I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
