Swine flu. Run for my life!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
