All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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