Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
