I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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