Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
