That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
