I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
