Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
