I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
