my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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