Your mouth is God's brothel.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
