Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
