How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
