East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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