I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
