we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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