Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is Oprah even human
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
