Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
