In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
