i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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