is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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