Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
