you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
A+ Viking dick
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
