I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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